Craig's Blog of Destiny

ADVISORY:  Although I’ve done some “bleeping,” what follows does contain some very salty language.

Early last Friday evening I received the following text message on my phone:
xxxxxxx299
Let’s chill

I didn’t recognize the number, so I ignored it, but about an hour later I got another text message from the same number:
xxxxxxx299
We’re by the mall

I didn’t hear anymore that night, so I figured whoever it was, they hooked up and all was good.  However, over the next two days I was fortunate enough to have the following text dialogue.

xxxxxxx299:
Oh man i left my F****ing bag in your truck pleaseeee bring it to me
Me:
While I may have liked to chill with you, at the mall, where you told me you were, since I didn’t, I’m sure I don’t have your bag in a truck that I also don’t have.
Me:
I’m pretty sure you have me confused with someone else.
xxxxxxx299:
hahahahaha stfu.  That seriously made absolutely no sense lay off the weed dogg.

I didn’t respond and a few minutes later…
xxxxxxx299
Boy you bess bring me my sh** later or you ain’t getting your sweats back : )

Again, I thought the best thing was to just not respond, and hoped they get their things straightened out.  However, a little after midnight that night (Saturday night) I got a voice mail message from them.  I won’t transcribe the message; suffice it to say that it seemed to come from what sounded like an inebriated young girl (with her friend laughing in the background) asking for her “accessories” back.  There was probably more profanity than there was non-profanity.  At the beginning of the message she addressed “Shane.”

She called again Sunday afternoon, didn’t leave a message, but did follow the phone call with an immediate text:

xxxxxxx299:
Are you at your house? I wanna come by and get my sh**
Me:
Sure come on over, bring pizza
xxxxxxx299:
haha shut up.   Wait where do you live?

I wondered then if I should once again say that I’m not who she thinks I am and was discussing with Kristin just how I should respond when this message came in:

xxxxxxx299:
Nigguhh where the F** do you live.
Me:
[at Kristin’s suggestion, I gave her the address for the police station in Kennewick]  211 west 6th ave in kennewick – if you won’t bring pizza, bring weed
xxxxxxx299:
haha your ridiculous i have neither, your sh** outta luck
Me:
So are you

So of course, the next thing, about ten minutes later, I get a phone call.  I’ll leave out the profanity.

Female voice: Man, where are you?
Me:  I’m at home
Female voice: I’m driving around here, I don’t know where you are
Me:  You know, I’m not Shane
Female voice:  [here I think she figured out what the address was for]  You made me drive all the way down here!!!!
Me:  I’m not Shane, you have the wrong number

She then hung up.

A few minutes later the texts started again:

xxxxxxx299:
I F****ing hate you.  [she always capitalized that word – nothing else consistently, but always that one]
Me:
Yes, but how do you feel about shane?
xxxxxxx299:
I’m gonna kick his ass.
Me:
U go girl

We really thought that she had figured things out and that that would be the end of it, but a few minutes later I got this text:

xxxxxxx299:
No but seriously i better get my F***ing sh** back, i need that stuff you don’t understand!  And umm i’m sorry to tell you but this is shane’s number bitch!  So shut the F*** up.
Me:
I’m sorry, it must be very frustrating to find this is not shane’s number, it’s my number (i’m craig).  i don’t chill at the mall, i don’t have your bag in my truck, i don’t even have a truck, you don’t have my sweats.  Either you wrote it down wrong or he gave you the wrong number.  Good luck.

I didn’t hear anymore from her, but the next afternoon I got a call from another number I didn’t recognize:

Me:  This is Craig [This is how I always answer my phone]
Female voice:  This is Craig?
Me:  Yes, this is Craig
Female voice:  This is Craig’s phone?
Me:  Yes, this is Craig’s phone

Then she hung up.

I haven’t heard any more.  I hope she gets her sh** back….